Spiked Punch(lines)

Alright, time for some frivolity.
The holidays are approaching quickly, and soon we'll all be thrown together with our respective clans to celebrate the season. Alcohol will be a necessity. But so will witty and entertaining conversation about alcohol. To that end, we've curated 16 of our favorite "A _____ Walks Into a Bar" jokes for you to have at the ready while sitting at  the Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Christmas table.
Now mind you, these jokes are not what one would consider "good." We do hope, however, that at least one or two of them will induce a slightly tickled eye roll or a mildly amused "ugghh." Given our particular business, we've christened these one-liners "NeGROANis."
1. A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
2. E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
3. A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?”

4. A five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, this is a singles bar."
5. Comic Sans, Helvetica, and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type here!”

6. A tennis ball walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Have you been served?”

7. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.

8. A dictator walks into a bar. He orders everyone around.

9. Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence.
10. An oxymoron walks into a bar. The sound was deafening.
11. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “I’d like a beer and a mop.”
12. The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
13. A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

14. A dyslexic man walks into a bra . . . 

15. A snake walks into a bar. The bartender says, “How the hell did you do that?”

16. The bartender says, “We don’t serve time-travelers in here.” A time-traveler walks into a bar.